In the past, I wrote a friend-related article under THE BLOG OF DRU, entitled “Who Are Your Friends?” (re-issued on here, gotta look through a page or two to find it) I discussed who are your true friends when “life” happens. Getting married. A new job/promotion. A death in the family and so on and so forth. When certain events happen in one’s life, you will find out right away who’s on your side and who isn’t.
Now, as I always like to say, let’s talk about the other side of the coin. And that is: knowing early on in life, or at a certain apex in life, that everybody can’t go. Yes, I know that your childhood friend of 20 plus years might be the exception to the rule. But this writer has had friendships for that long. Now they’re no longer around in my life. Why? To not fully make it about me and to make a long story less long: changes. Thoughts change. What you stand for changes. Priorities and goals change. And to be honest with you, during the lead up to the eventual break up, I had a feeling that some of my past friends wouldn’t still be my friends in the future. It was painful and heartbreaking when the friendship ended.
But looking back, it was well worth it.
One of the most difficult things to do as you get older is: letting go of the past. Letting go of old cycles and habits. Letting go of people that need to be let go, which can include family as well (that could be a future article, because I got STORIES for days on that end). Those same people that won’t accept your evolution as a man or woman. The friends you had love and respect for? Now it’s resentment from their end, which in turn, will hold over your head the amount of years that you two have put in the friendship as a manipulation tactic, so they can try to make you feel guilty. There’s a reason why when you’re at the toxic/wild stage (hopefully that’s in your 20’s, not at your big age right now, LOL) you have so many “friends” around. But when it’s time to let go of certain mindsets and choices? Those friends start to slowly reveal themselves, which leads them to start throwing shade, dismissing your new path, etc. All because the healed/improved version of you doesn’t match the version that’s stuck in their head.
And that’s wild in my eyes. Why wouldn’t your friends support the path you’re on? Unless it’s a path that’s causing harm and pain, your friends should not have one jealous thought or emotion in them. Thankfully, I still have friends in my life I’ve known for 10-15 years and we are still close, support each other and love each other. Also, even the ones I’ve known for about 5-7 years are still in my circle too, and I appreciate them as well! Outside of having a supportive woman on your side, there’s nothing better in life than having a circle of amazing, loyal friends, in my humble opinion.
There’s a saying: we don’t lose friends. We find out who the real ones are. And it’s the absolute truth. That doesn’t mean the ones we lose are horrible people (in some cases, the true colors will come out when you start to grow, and sometimes it brings out the worst in people). It just means that their part in your story is done for. After their role is done, it’s time to write (no pun intended) another chapter. With the new page, you can learn from the past mishaps and decisions, which hopefully will lead to much more, clearer and healthier choices.
Bittersweet? Yes it is. But dead weight will only hold you down.
instead of keeping it, let go. Your future self will thank you.
Open Frame Media. 
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